made the mistake of reading up about Alexander the Great’s relationship with his best friend Hephaestion and learnt that he was kind of a drama queen because
- after Hephaestion died, he spent maybe 1.5 billion dollars on his funeral which is a conservative estimate
- spent all night weeping over the body until they dragged him away
- extinguished a light only reserved to signify the death of the king (i.e. himself, Alexander the Great)
- went to the oracle and petitioned to have Hephaestion granted the status of a god but was denied
- nine months later, was still planning expensive monuments dedicated to his pal, except then he died, so what can you do
- people say the only thing that ever defeated Alexander the Great was Hephaestion’s thighs
- there’s so much more
- w o w
“Best Friend”
History trying to tune down the gay be like “This friendship lasted throughout their lives, and was compared, by others as well as themselves, to that of Achilles and Patroclus.” without realising that’s the gayest comparison they could make.
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