Blue looks at him concerned “ jeez”
“D-do I look that bad?” He chuckled weakly.
“ you don’t want my honest answer “ Blue says
“Ah well.” He shrugs not really getting up instead looking up at him. Scratches was visible from under his hoodie.
“ we can’t leave you alone for two seconds huh…?”
“Huh?” He tilts his head confused.
Blue shakes his head he sits next to him “ so what happened to you that made you so tired…? work..? Anxiety…? Nightmares…? or all three..?”
“All three with some extra.” He sighs as he scratches at his arms*
“ damn” Blue says quietly
“Please don’t tell what I’m about to tell you to KitKat.”
“well if i were going too I couldn’t KitKat went to Canada “
“W-what?” Hacker paused looking troubled. ‘I shouldn’t expect him to tell me he would be leaving…’ He thought. “I f-feel trapped…with KitKat…” There was guilt and regret in his voice.
“ why…?” Blue tilts his head
“I have never felt ‘love’. I don’t know what it feels like but I know how it should feel like. Coder told me. I don’t feel that with KitKat but I can’t help but see that if I leave him he’ll get hurt somehow…” Hacker sighed rubbing his face tiredly. “It feels forced. I can’t even kiss him just to kiss him. I’m not repulsed by him but it feels…wrong…”
“ well then “ Blue couldn’t find the words for this “ well um…would it be nice to tell you this before KitKat left he said he never deserved you and other stuff so I guess you both feel like you want to just be friends or something like that “
“Hopefully…I don’t want to hurt him or for him to hurt himself…”
“ yeah “
Hacker puts his head down on his knees. “I don’t know what to do…”
“ take time off I don’t know what the hell Kanji and Diamond did to get you 4 weeks? maybe 5 I don’t remember but if you need a break then take one hell do anything you need to that’ll make you less stressed and make you happy and less tired because those bags under your eye sockets aren’t a good look for you “
“I can’t take time off work. If I miss another day I will be fired. Coder is helping me get transferred to another job but I have to wait it out.”
“ welp Hamilton’s a thing if you have the time to listen to the whole soundtrack and the deleted songs and other stuff and and surround yourself with positive things “
“So hang out with Uni?”
“ if that’s the most positive thing you can think of then go for it “
“Uni and the kids yeah.”
kitthesortingwhatnow 